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Having gone nearly three years without eyeglasses after the tragic demise of my old pair, I was pretty well out of patience with having to stick in my contacts every time I needed to drive five minutes to the grocery store or wanted to watch TV. Unfortunately, I couldn’t pay the several hundred dollars a new pair would cost me. I’d heard good things about the website Zenni Optical over the years, but wasn’t too sure about buying from them. I mean…glasses, frames AND lenses, for as little as $8.00 a pair from some place on the Internet? My last pair of glasses clocked in at a cool $400 (my eyes are short-bus special).

A month ago, I finally gave in to the burning desire to own a good pair of glasses, and also gave into the equally burnariffic urge to NOT pay $400 for them. So I hit up Zenni-land, and was pretty impressed right away at what I had to choose from. So much so, actually, that I ended up with two pairs, one costing a sweet base cost of $8.00, and the other $9.95. My wonky prescription, which my old optometrist’s glasses office claimed they’d have to charge extra for? No problem! was Zenni’s stance, and my credit card and I rejoiced. I sprang an extra $4.95 for the anti-reflection coating on each pair, the lenses came with free anti-scratch coating and UV shielding, and the shipping was $4.95–a flat rate no matter how many glasses you order. I passed on the offer of polarized clip-on shades since I already have a pair of polarized sunglasses I wear over my regular glasses. My grand total for two pairs of eye-saving love? $32.80. Suck on that, $400 glasses! You’re no longer welcome in my life.

The glasses arrived about two weeks later, and I was thrilled with them out of the package. They were much smaller and lighter than my old pair, made of titanium (my former pair was made of a heavy bulky metal because I was told my lenses were too thick to be supported by lighter materials). After a day or so of my ears and nose getting used to the fact that there was something on them, it felt like I wasn’t wearing glasses at all. And the most important aspect, the prescription, is spot-on. I can wear these glasses all day if needed without eyestrain or headache. I know where I’ll be getting my glasses from now on!

You do need to do your homework before ordering. The best thing you can do beforehand is to go visit physical stores and try on their frames to see what feels and looks good on you. Write down the brand names and all the little letters and numbers engraved into the temple arms of the frames you like. Then, go to your favourite search engine and input that information until you find the specs of each set of frames: lens width, lens height, bridge, temple arm length, and frame width. The more info you can track down, the better chance you stand of finding just what you want, particularly when it comes to lens size information. On Zenni, look for frames that have lens shapes and frame size specs similar to the frames you liked in person. They don’t have to be an exact match, but you want them to be as close as you can get, within about five to ten millimeters if possible.

In addition to your prescription, you’ll also need to know your pupillary distance (PD), something optometrists often don’t write on your prescription. This is the distance between your eyes, and it’s VERY important you have this measurement correct (I don’t recommend trying to measure it yourself). Luckily, you can walk into just about any place that sells glasses and have them determine your PD. Zenni also provides helpful data on how to read the measurements you’re given for every section of the ordering process, so even though you may be confused to start, everything is explained and made easy. Trust me, doing the little bit of legwork is totally worth saving a few hundred dollars on your glasses!

Zenni also makes sure to verify the information in your order before making the glasses. If you make a mistake or buy an add-on you don’t really know that you need for your prescription, they’ll contact you to explain why you don’t need the extra purchase and refund any extra money you were charged. When you place your order, Zenni tells you that you will receive a receipt by e-mail; mine didn’t come until my glasses were shipped about two weeks later, so don’t worry if you don’t get your receipt e-mail right after ordering. But make sure to check your spam filters regularly–Zenni sends their glasses with Delivery Confirmation, which means you get a tracking code in that e-mail! Speaking of shipping, Zenni’s service is much faster than in previous years.

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1. If you are 60 years old and you think you are going to pick up a 25 year old hot girl on a Lifestyle site, unless you drive a Ferrari, have a big ass boat, and a house in South Beach, do not even bother reading on. Either keep you profile to look at pictures, or cancel it and move on. I can not help you.

2. If you are over weight and out of shape, the chances of getting a hot girl are VERY slim. Either lower your standards or go the gym and eat more salad. I am not trying to be mean; I have packed on a few extra lbs the last few years myself. But this is a fact. There are some great looking guys out there that work out ever day and have great physics. Why would a girl want to have sex with you rather than them? You say you are a nice guy with a charming personality? That’s nice, but that is why they have husband’s and boyfriends. They want get fucked well. That’s it. You are not going to enter the Daytona 500 in a Caravan. If you do you will look like an ass.

3. I know you want to meet a nice single girl. Well it is possible, I actually met Elena in the Lifestyle, but it is HIGHLY unlikely. If that is what you are looking for, I suggest you join a regular dating site, find the wildest girl you can, then get her into the Lifestyle!

4. Shave your balls! Stop Laughing… Really.. .Shave your junk! 1. It makes your dick look bigger 2. It is just plain rude not to! Go ahead, do it now….

5. Dick pics. There is nothing I hate worse than getting up every morning to approve a hundred dick pics. Come on guys! It is just ridiculous. No one wants to see that. People just think you are a great big perv when they see that. Are there exceptions? Yes. If you have a huge dick, I mean huge – over 9, then by all mean put up a couple of cock shots. I am sure you will get some action. But if you are an average guy, keep it in your pants until its time to use it!

6. Profile Photos. Put some photos of you having a good time with friends- maybe taking part in some sort of sport, traveling, etc., or maybe a pic with a hot girl. Other women will think “mmm… if he is good enough for her, he is good enough for me!” Not a porn star at AVN, just a regular hot girl. For God sake no pics of you sitting in front of your computer staring into the camera! Those are the worst.

7. Dress nice guys. Better to over dress than under dress. A nice pair of slacks, and a nice shirt, or a cool pair of jeans and a modern shirt will do fine. No Dockers and polo shirts, women will think you are boring and that you have not been out in the last 20 years. No ratty jeans or T-shirts. If I have to explain why this is a bad Idea you are a lost cause. No tweed coats with patches on the sleeves! Seriously, go out spend a few hundred bucks. You have to look nice; there is a lot of competition out there.

8. No stupid screen names about how good you are orally. Please do not mention how big your tongue is in your profile. You think “ man the ladies are going to love this!! They love getting the oral, they are going to be HOT HOT HOT when they read this!” No dude, they are not going to be hot hot hot, they are going to think. “Mmm, he talks about oral so much, I bet he as a small dick.” You know why they will think that? Because they are probably right. No point in drawing attention to it.

9. Never ever ever get drunk. 1. You act like an ass. 2. Your shit will not work….. Enough said.

10. Smoking in my opinion is a bad idea. I know for Elena is a deal breaker. It is up there with bad breath and rat tails. Some people will not mind, however, no one is going to say “I would love to have sex with that guy, if he only smoked!” Play it safe, and don’t smoke. On top of that it gives you bad breath, and baked bean teeth, but this is only my opinion.

11. If you see a couple with a hot girl, always, I mean always approached the guy first and introduce yourself. Compliment his wife to him, and then introduce yourself to her. This is the toughest part. If you act like you are getting his permission, she may be offended. She may thing “Who does he think he is? If he wants to talk to me he should talk to me!” Then again, if you ignore him he may shut you down before you get started. I would hang back, observe the situation then tread lightly. This first contact is critical.

12. If things are going well don’t be shy. Ask her to dance, touch her, go for a kiss if you can get it. Elena calls this “respectfully aggressive”. If you touch her in front of her guy, he will know that you are up front and not trying to do anything behind his back. I would then compliment him again “you are a lucky guy”, “man she can dance” etc.

13. Never ever ever approach a girl as soon as her guy walks away. This is a big NO. If it happens by accident, as soon as the guy comes back, be sure to shake his hand and introduce yourself.

14. If a girl approaches you, first thing I would ask is “Who are you hear with?” If she is there with someone, ask her to introduce you. You can make big point doing this! If she is alone, you have just found the mythical Unicorn, it is your lucky night!

15. Never tell anyone who you partied with. Like I stated in my opening statement, there is a stigma attached to partying with single men. If you are good, girls will tell each other. The word will get around. They will also know that you can keep your mouth shut. This is a key!

16. Participate in blogs and chats on LoveVoodoo (or other sites) Talk about something interesting, but not controversial. No Religion or Politics.

17. If you go to a club, don’t just stand there like a fool. Dance, talk to people, have fun! If you just stand there and do nothing, nothing will happen. I promise you!

18. Don’t talk about how much money you make. It would not hurt to let people know you are successful, but don’t be cocky about it. Maybe the couple is poor and the husband has a job making 35k a year. Then you come rolling in talking about how you just blew 35k playing craps in Vegas. You may make the husband feel bad, so he will not want to party, or he may be threatened.

19. Don’t talk to the husband too much. Anyone that knows me know I like to talk! A couple of times I have approached a couple hoping to hook up with the girl. I will find out that I have a lot in common with the husband, and we will get to talking about cars, or politics. Before I know it the wife is out dancing with someone else!

20. Once again please, please shave your sack.

21. No gold chains, or too much jewelry in general.

22. Save the dirty talk for the bed room. It is a turn on to some women but a turn off to others. Why take a chance?

23. If you observe a couple, and there seems to be some tension. Stay away. Nothing good could come out to approaching them. Now if he gets pissed and leaves her at the club alone, well that’s another story!

24. No means no. If you get the green light, by all means go for it. But if a couple seems disinterested, tell them it was nice meeting them and move on. No point of wasting your time with two hundred other couples and singles to talk to. It is hard to kick a reputation for being pushy.

25. Finally, if you can not get laid in a vanilla bar, you can not get laid in a swingers club. Most of the time a vanilla club is an easier place for a single guy to get some. Swingers clubs are about having a unique experience, not easy pussy. If that what you are looking for, you just don’t get it, and no list is going to help you

Guys these are just a few tips, I am sure there are hundreds more. If you invest some time in getting a good reputation in the Lifestyle, the word will spread and you will have tons of fun. If you want a quickie, you are in the wrong place.

-Todd

Owner www.lovevoodoo.com and www.swingersunderground.com

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If you play with Kayden Kross, you’re playing with fire. For she combines the exquisite and the hurtful in both her remarkable beauty and her frustrating personality. This uneasy duality defines what she is for others because it is above all what she experiences about herself, her body and her personality. Any contact with Kayden begins with her transcendent and lingering beauty: The knowing Dietrich smile. The pear-shaped face that, set in counterpoise to her pale green eyes, elicits the shade of a Nordic Fornarina and embodies the fantasy of a naked Madonna. The body that is slim and yet softly tactile. Still, the beauty is not forthcoming, not just because there is something cold in its statuesque repose, not just because you find that her eyes do not see the external world but look inward – but ultimately because it conveys the impression of constant recession, of always being a step away. Kayden’s physical beauty is an analogue to her person.

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